I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
