She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
