three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize