It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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