Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
