That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Even my vagina gasped.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
