Im at strip club and am horny
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Someone signed my nipple.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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