pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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