last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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