please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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