Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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