Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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