dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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