Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
