Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
