I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
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