Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
