My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
