Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
