Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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