I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
So squirting runs in the family.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
