This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
