I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
