i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize