this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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