oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize
