I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
