i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
