i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
