Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
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