he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
