i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
