ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
