I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
