you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
