we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
