i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
