worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
