break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
