Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Randomize
