allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
