I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize