Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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