I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
