I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
