He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
