her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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