That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
