btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
