Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
