I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize