I need help removing her.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
