This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
