i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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