her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
