I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Soap is not a condiment
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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