gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
