I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
