the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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