Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
