There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize