There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
