hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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