turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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