What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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