I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize