pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize