And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
